


We'll Forever Be Burning, You and I

by disneyprincess315



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mike Wheeler Loves Eleven | Jane Hopper, One Shot, conversation about sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25017394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disneyprincess315/pseuds/disneyprincess315
Summary: When El begins to worry that she's holding Mike back in their physical relationship, a misunderstanding results in a messy, yet needed conversation. / Aged-up Mileven
Relationships: Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler
Comments: 6
Kudos: 72





	We'll Forever Be Burning, You and I

**Author's Note:**

> This is its own work because I didn't want to change the rating of You Are Not Alone for one chapter. There isn't any smut here, just an intentional, mature conversation :)

El can’t breathe as Mike pushes her up against his bedroom door and his lips press against hers with an urgency that matches the fire in her veins. Her fingers curl into his hair and she pulls him closer, his hands dropping to her waist to steady her. She shivers as he caresses her hips and he smiles against her mouth, before gently coaxing her lips open with his. She whimpers because nobody’s home to hear her and brushes her tongue with his, the sensation making her gasp. 

This was not how she envisioned their date ending, but oh, she wouldn’t trade it for the world. 

It hadn’t been anything extravagant—she’s been needing new books to read for a while, having finished the pile she got a few weeks ago, so Mike took her to the bookstore, where they spent a few hours combing through book after book while snuggling on the back corner couch to find the perfect ones for her. He treated her to ice cream afterward and the way he was looking at her as he drove them back to his house sparked a warmth in her that has crescendoed into a blaze as she kisses her boyfriend wildly. 

“El,” he murmurs before his lips trace her jawline and she gulps in a breath as she wraps her arms around his neck. 

“Y-Yeah?” 

“You’re beautiful,” he responds, nipping at the juncture between her shoulder and her neck. She grins, leaving a kiss on the shell of his ear before she’s wriggling out of his grasp and tugging him towards the bed. His eyes are hazy as he follows, his cheeks flushed and his smile dopey. They tumble onto his bed together, her underneath and he presses one, two, three kisses to her lips before he’s turning them over, an arm wrapped around her back, so she can sit on his lap. 

(He knows she hates being underneath, pinned and helpless. Her beautiful, thoughtful boy, he knows.) 

She pushes aside her need to breathe in favor of kissing him fully and deeply, leaving them both gasping as they pull back. A flash of warmth zips through her veins at the heavy look in his eyes and his tongue nudges her lips the next time their mouths find each other. She breathes in, breathes out, and slowly parts her lips to let him in again. 

He’s a little more gentle as the desperate urgency of the moment gives way to a raw, bottomless passion and her head feels like it’s floating as his tongue dances with hers. His hands are on her waist, but she can feel them traveling upward as she cards her fingers into his hair, his fingertips barely brushing the skin where her shirt is riding up. He wraps his arms around her lower back, pulling her even closer to his chest. The movement causes her to rock her hips forward and she whines as something clenches in her abdomen, something hot and heady. Beneath her, her boyfriend groans and—

“Mike, Mike, I’m done.” 

They’re panting, and he takes a few moments, waiting for the glaze to dissolve before he sits back and nods. 

“O-okay.” 

He can’t quite seem to catch his breath and the look in his eyes is still wild as he stares at her. She leaves a chaste kiss on his forehead, before she crawls off him, embracing the rain that douses the fire within her. 

“Okay,” he repeats, softer this time before he pushes himself off the bed and heads for the door. 

“I love you,” she calls and he smiles back, all lopsided and brilliant. 

“I love you too, El. I’ll be back.” With that, he heads out into the hallway as she watches him go, the space between them a familiar one in this situation. 

This was their unspoken agreement. They would dip their toes in physical intimacy until it got to be too much, she would stop them, then they would go their separate ways to cool down. It was the only way she knew how to deal with the rising fear in her every time they got too close to losing control. 

She flops back on his bed, pacing out her breaths and willing her heart to stop pounding so fast. Someday, maybe she’d be brave enough to chase the brewing storm of pleasure that boy caused within her. 

Someday. Someday that’s not soon. Not today. 

Maybe not ever. 

Mike knows that.

Right?

-

The next day is Max’s eighteenth birthday and the first thing the Party notices is that she would not let go of Lucas. All six of them are seated in a booth in her favorite fast food place waiting for their order to be called and the conversation was flowing as usual, except for the parts where they'ew trying to ignore the way Max was plopped in Lucas’s lap, an arm wrapped around his shoulders. 

“We aren’t that bad, are we?” Mike leans over to whisper to her when Max giggles at one of her boyfriend’s jokes for the thousandth time. 

El chuckles and shrugs. “Sometimes, probably. This isn't like them, though.” 

Mike goes to say something else, but his attention is pulled away by Dustin asking him for advice on the college admissions essay that he’s stuck on. 

Regardless, El’s happy for her best friend. Touch hasn’t been the most comfortable thing for her in the past, thanks to the broken household she was raised in, so the trust she’s placing in Lucas is a huge step for her. They could be as sappy as they wanted if it meant Max remained content. 

A few minutes later, their order number is called out and Will and Lucas both volunteer to pick up their food. As they climb out of the booth, however, Lucas clears his throat and they all look up at him.

“Men of the Party, if you would come with us please,” he says with a grin that he’s not hiding very well. 

“All of us?” Mike responds, his brow furrowed. “I don’t think we need four--”

Max cuts him off. “Wheeler, just trust him.”

Confused but compliant, El scoots to the end of the booth to let Dustin and her boyfriend out.

“If you need another person, I can help too,” she offers, but Lucas’s eyes go wide. 

“Nope, we’re all good. Thank you, El,” he says, gesturing for her to sit back down before quickly leading the boys away. 

She stands there in befuddlement before she hears the swish of Max sliding across the booth and she feels a tug on her wrist. 

“That was on purpose. We don’t have long, but I have something to tell you,” Max tells her and El grins as the pieces fall into place. 

“Sneaky,” she comments. “What is it?”

She hesitates and El nudges her from across the table. 

“Max, you know you can tell me anything.” 

“I know, just...prepare yourself.” She blows out a breath, making sure the boys are out of sight before she leans in even closer. 

“Lucas came over last night. He wanted to be the first one to wish me a happy birthday or something dumb like that. Anyway, my parents were gone and we might have gotten a little carried away.” 

“How carried away?” 

Max blushes, which she never does and El feels shock ripple through her. 

No. They couldn’t have. Joyce said sex was for when two people were much older than they were if they decided to do it before marriage at all. Lucas and Max were barely eighteen. 

She wasn’t oblivious, she knew kids their age were delving into that world more than she wants to know, but she’d always seen that as something the irresponsible kids did, not an action that her closest friends were indulging in.

Deep down, though, she knows she only clung to Joyce’s words so tightly because they validated her personal decision about the topic. 

El didn’t want to have sex. At least, not for a very long time. 

Trust wasn’t the issue. She trusted Mike with her life. He would rather jump off a cliff than violate her privacy or make her feel pressured into doing something she didn’t want to do. He’s the only one she can ever imagine being intimate with and she knows that when the time is right (if it ever is. She badly hopes it will be someday), he’ll walk every step of the way with her. 

No, he wasn’t the issue. It was her. 

She’s known the concept of privacy for five years now, but she still revels in the idea that some things could be hers and she didn’t have to share them with anybody. Her body, for example, was one of those things. 

She’d thought by now she would’ve gotten used to having her own wardrobe and keeping herself healthy and all the things that allowed her to take control of the body she had been placed in, but after so many years of her soul being unimportant and her body being manipulated for the purposes of others, dictating what happened to it herself was still liberating. It felt like she had just gained possession over it and the thought of giving it away so easily caused her stomach to turn. 

So, she had made peace with the idea that she and Mike were still way too young for sex anyways. They'd get there when they were old enough.

She was wrong. 

Max is still looking at her expectantly when she finally stammers out a response. 

“Did you go a-all the way?” 

Her friend giggles, nodding enthusiastically. 

“All the way. We’re not virgins anymore. And it was incredible, El. I’ve never felt anything like it, you have to try it. Not with Lucas of course, because he is all mine forever and ever. He was such a gentleman and the way he treated me? I thought I was going to die from how well he took care of me. Have you and Mike—“

“Have El and I what?” 

El’s gaze snaps up to meet Mike’s, his hands full with the food they had picked up and her heart falls to the floor. 

“You know. Have you and El had sex?” 

She can barely breathe as Mike’s eyes widen and he starts to stutter out an answer, but she can no longer see him because her vision has been blurred by her tears. 

Of course he wants her body. He’s a teenage boy in love. She’s holding him back, just like she always does. He’s probably been ready for years, hoping that every moment alone with her would finally lead to sex and if it wasn’t for his broken girlfriend, he would’ve gotten what he wanted by now. 

She shoves down the harsh sob that claws at her throat and turns to gather her things. 

“I have to go, eat without me,” she mumbles and hurriedly stands up from the table. 

“What do you mean you have to go, we just got our food!” she hears Lucas exclaim, but she shakes her head and rushes for the exit. 

“El! El, wait!” Mike’s voice comes from behind her and she glances over her shoulder to see him following her. “What’s going on?"

"N-Nothing."

"El, c'mon, that's not true. Whatever it is, we'll figure it out, alright?"

"Just leave me alone, go eat with our friends." She tries to walk out the doors, but Mike catches her wrist.

"Then at least let me drive you home, it’s raining.” 

“No,” she whimpers out, shaking her head. 

“No? El, please, it’s freezing out there. I just want to help you.” 

She wrenches her arm from his grip and digs her fingernails into her palms. 

“I don’t deserve that. Or you. Or any of this,” she says, gesturing behind them to their friends. “Just let me go home.” 

Her words are chopped up by sobs, but she doesn’t stay to find out if he understands because she bolts through the doors and runs as fast as she can back to her house. 

-

“What the hell did you say to her??” 

“I just told her about—“ Max gestures wildly between her and Lucas and Mike runs a hand through his hair in exasperation. 

“Then what did you do that made her so upset?” 

“I don’t know, Mike. Shouldn’t we go after her?” 

He so badly wants to. The pain and fear in her face slashed through his heart and he hates that she ran from him of all people. He wants to follow her and hold her and work through whatever was tearing her up, but if she needs space, then he knows he has to respect that. 

Still, though, she is running through rain and her house isn’t that far, but if she gets hurt, he wouldn’t ever forgive himself. 

“Yeah, I’ll go make sure she’s okay. Could you guys box up our food and drop it off at our houses later?” 

The group nods. 

“Thanks, guys. Max, I'm sorry if this is ruining your birthday. El and I will make it up to you. I promise." 

"It's fine, I just want her to be okay," the girl responds. “If it was something I said, can you tell her I’m sorry and that I’ll make it up to her?” 

“Yeah, sure," he agrees.

“Thank you,” she says with a genuine smile and he nods, waving goodbye to the group before he fishes out his keys and heads out into the rain. 

El made it farther than he thought she would, which makes his heart twist even more. They’re only a few minutes from her house by the time he catches up to her and he slows down as he comes up beside her running form, rolling his window down. 

“El!”

She stops at his voice, breathing heavily and she bends over, her hands on her knees to catch her breath. 

“Mike? What—what do you w-want?” 

“I want to take you home. Look, I don’t know what’s making you so upset, but at least let me drive you the rest of the way.” 

She glares at him stubbornly as she stands upright to cross her arms, but he holds his resolve. 

“Please, El. I won’t even make you talk to me. I just want you home safe.” 

For a moment, he’s almost positive she’s going to say no, but then her shoulders slump and she’s wordlessly making her way to the passenger side. He opens the door for her and she slides in, her clothes already beginning to drip onto the seat, but he couldn’t care less. She shuts the door and he lets off the brakes so they start moving. Something tugs on his heart and he reaches out for the briefest second to squeeze her hand. She doesn’t squeeze back, but she doesn’t resist him either and he takes that as a victory. 

It’s quiet when he pulls up to the Byers residence and she gets out of the car quickly. The rain hasn’t lightened up any as he follows her and she whirls around when she hears his car door slam. 

“Are you following me?” 

“Yes?” It’s more of a question than a statement, having already forgotten that he said he’d drive her home and nothing beyond that, but his first instinct is to follow her, always. 

“Fine,” she mumbles and he scrambles to catch up with her as she hastily unlocks the front door. He’s not sure what to do with himself while she disappears into the house and finally decides on sitting in the living room, his leg bouncing anxiously. 

He listens as her bedroom door opens, shuts, then opens again, followed by the creak of their bathroom door that they hadn’t gotten around to oiling yet. The door closes and he blows out a breath, leaning back on the couch as he wills himself to be patient, ready to wait as long as it would take for her. 

Fifteen minutes later, his resolve is wearing thin and he glances at the clock for the thousandth time. He still hasn’t heard the bathroom door open and she’s not taking a shower either, he would’ve heard that too. Leaving also is not an option, so instead, he pushes himself off the couch and makes his way to the bathroom. 

“El?” he says, knocking lightly on the wood. “I’m just making sure you’re okay. I’ll be out here if you want to—“ 

The door swings open violently and he flinches, before his eyes grow wide at the girl before him. She’s only in her undergarments and his thoughts stutter at the sight of her bare skin. He’s sure he’s gaping like an idiot as he rips his eyes from her body and back up to her face. He finds fury and devastation in her eyes and his heart plummets. 

“You want my body, Mike? Fine. You can have it.” 

“What? What are you talking about?” he responds, dumbfounded. “El, you’re supposed to be getting into dry clothes.” 

Her eyes narrow and she crosses her arms in front of her. 

“Stop playing dumb,” she fires back and takes a step forward. He swallows hard, instinctually taking a step back and this seems to aggravate her more. 

“Mike!” 

“What??” 

“Stop being a gentleman! If you want my body, it’s yours. Take it!” 

“‘It’? El, your body is not an ‘it’. I don’t know where this is coming from or what makes you think I’d take advantage of your body without your consent, but we need to talk about this first. Can you please put some clothes on?” 

“But...but...” 

“Please? We’ll talk everything through, promise. ” 

Her face falls and she looks ashamed, so he steps forward to press a kiss to her temple. A sigh pushes past her lips and he squeezes her shoulder before she disappears back into the bathroom and he tells her to meet him in the living room before they go their separate ways. 

He rakes a hand through his hair as he plops down on the couch once again, perplexed by her actions. It was evident now that Max’s comment and the conversation the two girls had been having before had struck something sensitive in her, but he was utterly lost as to what had jarred her so much. In a way, he knows whatever it is, this mess is partly his fault. He’s had multiple opportunities to bring up sex with her, to work through how they both felt about the vulnerable, passionate act, but he’d gotten too scared every time that she’d think he was pressuring her into something. Besides, she hadn’t seemed in a big hurry to go any further and that was okay. She always knew when she wanted to stop and he had never minded the boundaries she set up. If anything, he was grateful for them, because they separated their relationship from places that they needed to talk about before they even tried to go there.

He perks up at the sound of her socked feet shuffling down the hallway and sees that she’s covered herself back up, her hair dripping onto an old Hawkins High shirt of his matched with her bright purple sweatpants. She avoids his gaze as she sits down on the other end of the couch and he doesn’t miss the puffiness of her eyes. He waits for her to say something, but when she stays silent, he clears his throat. 

“So,” he starts. “Was, um--was it something Max said?” 

She sniffles and a beat or two passes before she speaks.

“Why didn’t you tell me we were supposed to be having sex?” 

His eyes go wide and he looks at her in dismay.

“We aren’t supposed to be--where did you hear that?” 

“Max.”

“Max said we were supposed to be having sex?”

“No,” she says, her frustration adding a punch to her words.

“Then where is this coming from?”

“Max and Lucas had sex.”

“Yeah. I heard.”

“We haven’t.”

“We haven’t,” he agrees.

“I know you want to.” 

“It doesn’t matter what I want.”

“But it does! That’s the thing, Mike. You can’t keep pushing aside yourself just for me otherwise I’ll drag us down. Why haven’t you said anything?”

“Because we’re not there yet.”

“You mean because I’m not there yet?”

“Yes!”

She gasps and he backpedals as fast as he can.

“I mean no! I mean--Look, I need you to be honest with me. Do you want to have sex with me?”

She glances away and pulls her knees up to her chest, hugging them tightly as her eyes fall to the floor. He sighs, knowing he has his answer

“El, there’s nothing wrong with that. We’re talking about a big emotional step that couples take and it’s important that both people are ready to take it, not just one.”

“But shouldn’t I be ready? We’ve been dating for five years!”

“So? We could be dating for fifteen and it’d still be okay if you weren’t ready.”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why would it be okay? It’s not fair to ask you to wait that long.”

“We could never, ever have sex and I’d still love you as much as I do now.” 

“But you’ll always want my body.”

“El, I don’t always want your body. Your soul is what I’m in love with, not the vessel you’re in. That’s just a bonus. I think you’re absolutely stunning, always, but that has never meant that I’m waiting around for the day when we can have sex together. I want you, El and you’ve already given so much of yourself to me, beyond what I could ever want.” 

“But your--” She glances down to his crotch area and he’s never blushed harder in his life. Freaking hormones, he hates that they gave the wrong impression.

“Don’t--don’t worry about that. It’s not your job to lose a part of yourself to satisfy something about my body that I wish I had more control over.”

She nods, her legs unfolding so her feet rest on the floor and he’s relieved, not only that they've moved away from the topic of his anatomy, but also that it’s starting to sink in that he is in no rush to take their relationship to a place she doesn’t want to go. 

“I’m scared,” she whispers after a moment.

“I am too.”

Her head snaps up. 

“You’re scared?”

He coughs, shifting uncomfortably.

“Um--yeah, a little. If we do get to that stage...what if I’m terrible at it and you want someone who can make you feel better than I can?”

She frowns. “That wouldn’t make me stop wanting you. That really scares you?”

“Sorry, it’s dumb,” he mutters, hanging his head.

“No. No, not dumb. I'm sorry you feel that way, but I would never, ever leave you for that, okay?"

The knot in his stomach unravels and he smiles up at her. "Thanks, El, that means a lot." A beat passes before he returns her question. "What are you scared of?”

He waits patiently as her brow furrows and her mouth opens and closes a few times, trying to find the words it wants to shape around.

“It still feels like I just got my body back,” she settles on, glancing down at her hands.

Stupid lab.

“I understand,” he replies quietly. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And no one, not even your nerdy boyfriend, should make you feel like your body isn’t your own ever again.”

“Even if it’s what everyone our age is doing?”

“Even then. You’re not any less mature or developed as them because of a personal choice you’ve made.”

For the first time all night, she smiles. 

“Okay,” she murmurs. “Thank you. For everything.”

“Everything?”

She giggles and nods, scooting herself closer to him. “Everything. And I’m sorry that I threw myself at you, I just--I never want to hold you back.” 

He shakes his head as he reaches for her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close, his heart sighing as she curls up to his body. 

“You could never,” he replies. “If anything, you let me go forward.”

“What’s forward?” she asks, looking up at him with enchanted chocolate eyes. He presses his lips to her forehead, his heart full.

“Infinity.”


End file.
